i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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