I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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