i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
