I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize