there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
