brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
we're making bets on your personal life
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize