youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
