I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Every concussion has its silver lining
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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