Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
