She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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