I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
