I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
