So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
