omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
