Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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