happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
