i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
