Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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