About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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