Nicole vs. Life
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
