Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
