i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
