just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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