I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
