I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
