My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
