So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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