everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If I die, sorry about rent.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
