Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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