The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
