you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He felt like a one man threesome
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
