whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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