I love black thongs
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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