Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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