its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
