Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
