be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
