Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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