I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
