In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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