Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
