A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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