Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
