So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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