Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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