also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
