How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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