if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
