it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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