please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
