Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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