I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
