thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
