WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
