I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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