I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
