So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
