i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
