upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
