ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
