I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
