How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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