OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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