Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
