I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
