Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
