Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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