You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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