i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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